Just a list of other people's opinions on my decisions to travel #solo
FROM FAMILY
"You'll get snatched!"
Fine. I'll admit it: I'm impulsive. My first decision to solo travel came on a whim, and I applied to a study abroad program in Paris without really thinking about it. Would I be able to actually afford it? Let's worry about that later. Should I wait to apply with a friend? Nah, convincing them might take too long.
And low and behold, I got into the program on a full scholarship, with my flight and accommodation completely paid for. At that point, I felt it would be pretty ridiculous of me NOT to go. And my parents were fully on board...until I boarded the plane.
Don't get me wrong, I was nervous, too. It was my FIRST time out of the country, and I was doing it completely on my own. I was terrified. But I tried not to show it. My parents, on the other hand, called me all day, every day. Which kinda made my nerves even worse! They greeted me with smiles and eager questions about my experiences, but us kids can tell when our parents are worried.
When I told them about my planned trip from Paris to Greece, all pretenses were dropped, and my parents said, very clearly, "take someone with you. It's not safe to travel alone." I understood their concern, and I ended up traveling with a friend who was also studying abroad (he was studying in Ireland while I was in Paris). But you know what? I ran into a few tricky experiences even though I was traveling with a friend. So. What does that tell you?
In my humble opinion, any situation or place has the potential to be unsafe - whether you're alone, with others, in your home country, or abroad.
That's not to say that there shouldn't be an added layer of vigilance when you're traveling solo. But after visiting 11+ countries on my own and returning safely after an amazing experience each time, I'd hate for you to miss out. Do your research, don't be dumb, and trust yourself!
FROM FRIENDS
"You'll be so bored without us!"
I like to think we've learned by now that being alone doesn't mean lonely. And as an introvert, solo travel is the ultimate "secluding myself to recharge my social interaction batteries" activity.
I could tell that when I first announced my decision to go abroad, some my friends were like, "huh? Where was our invite?" I honestly just needed a longgg time to myself. College was getting incredibly suffocating, I was struggling mentally and emotionally, and I was missing my squad from home like crazy. That, and I'd just lost a really close friend.
He'd been a part of my childhood friend circle since high school, and the missing piece to our group was felt by all of us every single day. But as much as I wanted to be close to the rest of my friends, we were all attending different universities, many of us across the country from one another. I'd contemplated taking a gap year, but I'd risk losing my scholarship, and I knew I'd also have to get a job to earn money for the next year. I really didn't want to put myself through that. So at 1AM on January 12, 2018, I applied to study abroad.
Now, I want to make it clear that every single one of my friends from home were supportive of that decision. They understood the need to have some alone time, because they were also grieving the loss of our friend. But others greeted my decision with questions and general confusion as to why I'd made such a sudden decision. And it took me for a bit of a bend. I questioned myself, even considered backing out a few times because, in their words, "don't you think you're reacting a bit emotionally?" Like I said before: yeah, I WAS being impulsive. But it was annoying when they said it. So since I'm stubborn, I went ahead with it. And it's one of the best life decisions I've ever made.
Sometimes being alone is exactly what we need to best connect with the world and ourselves. And traveling with the wrong person is much worse than doing it solo...
I've definitely learned who I can and can't travel with. After returning from my adventures abroad and craving more, I tried traveling with some of my friends from college. Not a great idea, lol. Not everyone was super eager about helping to plan the trip, and not everyone agreed on the itinerary after it was made. Okay, well maybe you should have helped write it then?! Anyway.
I appreciate solo travel because it gives me the ability to choose when I want to be around others, and when I want to simply enjoy my own company. When I wish to connect with locals or other travelers, I've learned to be more open and confident - it's helped me work on my social anxieties and has helped me form stronger relationships both at home and abroad!
FROM STRANGERS
"Aren't you lonely?"
I was asked this question a lot while traveling in Europe. But one instance in particular stands out to me the most. The location: Santorini, Greece. Like I mentioned before, my friend was traveling with me on this trip, but he was being annoying so I left him at the hotel and went to check out the famed "Red Sand Beach" at the end of the island. A very touristy spot, and that day it seemed like every early 20s traveler was making the trek to the beach. Among them being quite a few white frat-esque bois. Just to give you a better mental visual.
One of said white frat-esque bois kept glancing at me over his shoulder and whispering to his white frat-esque boi friends. And then he departed from the flock and came to walk beside me. "Are you by yourself?"
Now. Here's what you should ALWAYS say when a stranger asks you that question: "No." Maybe follow it up with, "I'm with my family/friends/partner. But ya girl was #startled, because a white man was interrupting her island adventure fantasies, so I said, "yeah, I'm alone." The guy wasted no time, adjusted his ugly bucket hat, and said, "I'm so sorry, you must be soooo lonely! I'm here with ThE gUyS - why don't you join us?" My initial shyness went out the window, and I very directly told him that I was, in fact, quite fine on my own. I don't think he was expecting such a confident answer, because he quickly backed off and disappeared, like a ship into the night.
You are the only person who knows exactly how to make yourself happy. You know if you like museums, if you feel like eating local or fancy dining, if you want a beach day or a hike. So trust, you'll find ways to have fun by yourself.
Many of my most adventurous trips have been solo trips, because I can do whatever I want! Having someone question my ability to entertain my own company gave me the push I needed to embrace the power of choosing myself that day.
FROM MYSELF
"You can't do it."
Ah. Simple, but very effective, me. The first time I traveled solo (which, again, was also the first time I ever traveled, period), this thought ran through my head repeatedly. Even after I got on the plane, even after I landed, even during my first few months abroad, I couldn't talk myself out of the belief that what something was going to go horribly wrong. That I'd made a huge mistake, and it was only a matter of time until it all came crashing down around me.
But I'd grown tired of going back on my own convictions, simply because I couldn't tell the future. I'd grown tired of waiting on others. Tired of depending on other people to handle my vulnerability with care. So why not jump into the world and allow the fullest extent of my emotions to spread their wings? My so-called impulsive decision gave me the space, and the freedom, to express myself completely and without hinderance.
Traveling solo has helped me to learn more about what I like, and what I don't like. What I can handle, and what I can't. It's helped me be more confident because I know that there is so much I can accomplish, and that it is possible to do it on my own.
Just knowing that I would have missed out on so much had I waited for someone else's go-ahead to travel tells me all I need to know about my decision-making. This impulsive gal will not let fear stop her from living her life!
So, in whatever you decide to do, in whatever decisions you make,
go forth and be free, my friends ❤
