What? The most romantic city in the world is romanticized? That's crazy!
Bonjour! Let's start out with a few disclaimers, shall we?
First off: I straying away from generalizing when it comes to things I don't like too much about France. And, most of my opinions will come as someone living in Paris, which I've been told can be very different from the rest of the country.
Two: These are opinions! Things I myself have experienced in the city after being here on three separate occasions. Once for a semester as a study abroad student, once for a week as a tourist, and currently, as a grad student and part-time job holder. Each time I've visited Paris, I've experienced it from a different perspective: the short-term student, the tourist, and now, the long-term (I've been here for almost a year, now!). All of these experiences have shaped my views of Paris, and as I've also found opportunities to visit other countries (mostly Western European), I have a pretty good idea of what I like and don't like about this city in comparison to others I've visited.
Three: I am fully aware that I am biased! As an American, I am not in touch with the European identity and my takes will be influenced by that bias. I had some culture shock when seeing the community-based ideals for French citizens, rather than America's very individualist perspective (though after speaking to some of the POC here in Paris, there are times when that "community" is conditional).
Four: On that note, I will not be speaking much on anyone's behalf but my own. That is, as a young, African American woman studying for her Master's and working part-time in Paris.
We good? Good.
The things on this list have influenced my decision not to stay in Paris long-term. Yes, it can be a lovely city, and I'm glad I found this opportunity to study and live here -- and there are plenty of things I adore about Paris -- but every rose has its thorns! And I don't want this to discourage anyone from visiting, studying, or living here. I just wanted to share a different perspective of a city that's often romanticized.
In addition to my realization that Paris' film industry doesn't have as many opportunities for my ambitions (writing for streaming television), the difficulty of getting a decently-paying job here as a foreigner, the paperwork, and the high rent prices, are some reasons for my current love-hate relationship with the City of Love!
THE FOOD
I know, shocker! French cuisine merits the adoration it receives, but trust me, after a while, you'll start craving something other than steak frites or boeuf bourguignon.
If you're gluten-free, vegan, or vegetarian, you'll need some luck finding an accommodating traditional restaurant. It's not impossible, but having a designated option for that isn't really the norm here, and if it is, then it's probably a fairly expensive, touristy restaurant. There are a growing number of gluten-free and vegan restaurants sprouting up, though.
Non-French cuisines will often be expensive (don't get me started on sushi), and they're often watered down for the French palate. I've literally had to save restaurants to my Google Maps so that I remember where I found authentic Indian food, Creole cuisine, or even a good old burger. And there's no Mexican food! They have tacos with fries in them. Thanks, I'd rather settle for Chipotle. It's definitely a difference in palate, too. I will say that I've found many good Moroccan restaurants, though, which I didn't have much of back in DC.
I also miss so much food that I would eat back home. Jamaican, GOOD fried chicken (Soul Food in general), and seafood. Being from the DC/Maryland border, I'm always disappointed that seafood here leans towards the expensive side. I've had to force myself not to buy 30 euro fish at the store because I was craving it so bad! Fried fish and grits, please! Do you think my parents could ship me some?
Food has actually played a huge part in my homesickness, especially since meals and cooking are such a big thing in my family. It can feel pretty isolating when you can't find your comfort or cultural food anywhere (and African Americans have a unique food culture that isn't found in a lot of other places).
THE POLLUTION
Y'all, this city is DIRTY.
I'm from DC, but it's the suburbs of DC, near the Maryland border. So my take on this lacks a true city perspective. And sure, dirt is everywhere, but you're not supposed to see it FLOATING THROUGH THE AIR. Right? Like it's not supposed to fly into your eyes and leave your glasses all spotty. Paris is also a very tourist-heavy city, so I'm sure tourists contribute to the pollution a LOT.
Especially as this summer heat sets in, it gets to feel really confining. I miss having trees and big, natural parks close at hand, as I do back home. The trash, dust particles, close-quarters, and heat do not mix. I'm sure that the fact that I have OCD plays a part in my adamant disgust (I've cried after a napkin flew in my face while I was walking into the metro), but I feel like a distaste for pollution is pretty universal.
I'm also very tired of avoiding dog poop in the MIDDLE of the sidewalks. Like, super well-dressed, posh people will literally just stand there and let their dogs do their business without batting an eye. Feels kinda presumptuous. It literally makes me so sad and I twitch when I think about it. And sometimes, it's not just dogs...Paris has an issue with public toilets (similar to many big cities), where you're expected to pay to use a restaurant's bathroom. Here in Paris, you also have to pay to use the "public" toilets on the streets, 2 to 4 euros at least. So, walk down an alley or head into the metro and the smells are rarely super pleasant.
On that note, the city is not unhoused-people friendly. This isn't singular only to Paris, as I've seen it in other major cities like DC and New York City: benches bent at awkward angles, lack of (free) public toilets, REALLY expensive rent, etc.
I have a lot of respect for the street cleaners I see every morning using a power hose to clean the sidewalks, as well as the workers who have to come and pick up overflowing trashcans from the street corners. I could NEVER.
TREATMENT OF IMMIGRANTS AND MIGRANTS
Surprise! The US does not have the strictest immigration policies in the world. I believe that what the US does loudly, other countries do quietly.
As a major European economic power, France has long been a country of immigration.
The arrival of newcomers, especially from developing countries (countries recovering from Imperialism), has been central to its political debate for years.
I wrote my Human Rights thesis on immigration regulation in France back when I studied here for my undergrad, and the history is wild.
The economic and social effects of immigration have quickly intensified amid an economic slowdown, higher unemployment, and the gradual rise of the far right. In 2002, far-right candidate Jean-Marie Le Pen reached the second round of the presidential election by focusing on concerns over immigration, and in this recent 2022 election, his daughter Marine Le Pen did the same thing, coming within 17 percentage points of defeating President Emmanuel Macron. Immigration represents a threat to French identity and security, as well as a huge economic and social cost, to which the government should respond by closing its borders. Sound familiar?
Immigration trends in France are comparable to other countries and not, as some of the far-right have claimed, an indicator that the government has "lost control." Immigrants represent about 10% of France’s total population, yet issues of migration were prominent during the 2022 election. In particular, government efforts are focused on encouraging immigration of highly educated people deemed to be "good for the French economy," and limiting arrivals of everyone else. HMMMM...
I had the opportunity to experience the 2022 presidential elections, listening to the French radio, and reading up on opinions and consensus amongst the general public. I was pretty invested, and it was helping me learn French. Regarding immigration, candidate Le Pen promised to stop family reunification, make it harder for children of immigrants born in France to be citizens, and limit welfare benefits to French citizens. Even in defeat, her performance in 2022 underscores how willing some French voters are to embrace these kinds of approaches. The radio host reporting the results even stated that her concession sounded a lot like a victory speech. Spooky!
THE BUREAUCRACY
This paper-based country is gonna be the end of me. I know, that may sound petty, but it's not just about simple convenience or my reliance on technology.
I don't always have easy access to a printer, and getting paper documents means going in person to meet for appointments, which is hard to do between my job and classes. And things are even more difficult if you don't know French.
From applying for your carte vitale (ouch), renewing your visa (I don't wanna talk about it), getting a bank account (took me three months), to renting an apartment (I still have nightmares), everyone who lives here is expected to go through a lot of red tape. And it's even worse when you aren't a French citizen. When it comes to applying (or re-applying) for anything and everything, preparation is KEY.
Having multiple of the same documents printed, bringing in physical copies of your passport or visa, and even bringing in documents they don't even mention that you may need, will save your life when navigating the bureaucracy. Be one step ahead at all times. Oh, you say I can't get an appointment because I don't have a copy of my landlord's ID? Think again!
It can be super frustrating dealing with so much red tape, even for the simplest things. At times, it can feel like a hit or miss, especially as a foreigner when I don't always know what I'm doing. I'm currently trying to renew my student visa, and I've been jumping through hoops to prove that my UK-based university has a campus here in Paris, and that I don't graduate until late November. Send your thoughts and prayers, fam.
THE RACISM
France is not absolved from racism. But many French people tend to believe it never really existed in France. And that's where my frustration stems from...
At first, the TikToks of white kids from England, France, and other Western European countries criticizing America were cute.
Like: Yeah! Guns have more rights than I do! Crazy, huh? Yup, racism sure is awful! I agree!
But bruh...after two or three videos repeating the same things over and over again, I've come to roll my eyes at those so-called "hot takes" by Europeans about how "crazy and violent" America is.
"My good golly goodness did you see what's going on in the US? They're so violent! It's insanity!"
BABY! You know what else is "insanity?" The British Empire. The way many people here in France still dress up like Native Americans and blink *cutely* when people say it's racist. Or how about the way y'all ask Afro-French people "where they're from" when they've lived here since they were 0 years old? Or how I've had a white French person's attitude towards me do a positive 180 when they hear my American accent and realize I'm not African?
Bestie!!! The way y'all treat your team's Black football players! You know what else is très terrible? The fact that y'all STILL owe Haiti money! The way y'all treat people who wear burkas and hijabs! And who was it that created the idea of measuring skulls to argue that Black people are less intelligent? Who came up with the categorization of race? And the same goes for other Western European countries, too. Spain, I'm looking at you and your racist Black-face festival that y'all won't get rid of because "it's tradition."
I'm tired of the dismissive comments of, "we aren't racist here. We are all French (except the ones who aren't)," whenever racism is brought up. Like, you can't talk the talk if you don't walk the walk. How are you gonna say that "everyone is French" and therefore treated equally when Afro-Parisians are still discriminated against because of their skin? And you're just gonna pat yourself on the back and say Black people have equal job opportunities because "look, they're bus drivers, security people, and waiters!" Having an influx of underrepresented groups in low-paying job markets instead of in places of authority isn't the flex you think it is.
To point a finger and laugh at Americans as if Western Europe hasn't played a devastating role in Imperialism and colonization just looks dumb, in my opinion. And it shows that the people of color and other marginalized groups in those countries aren't being listened to.
What America does loudly, other countries do quietly. As a friend of mine said, y'all can't be talking about America as if we da ghetto when you're the hood. Where do you think white Americans got a lot of this mentality from, babe? HEY, NEIGHBOR!
DATING CULTURE
Anyway. Let's end on a fun note!
Did you know there's no official word for "dating" in French? Pretty interesting for the most romantic city in the world! This isn't something I "dislike" about the country, just one thing I've noticed that is different from what I'd been led to expect. I'm personally not looking to date anyone at the moment, so most of this opinion was formed by conversations with friends, where we made connections and realized that no, it wasn't just us who were sensing a different dating atmosphere in the city.
What seems to be Rule One when it comes to dating culture in Paris: Parisians won't date a stranger. As in, if you head to a bar or club, you don't have to worry about getting hit on! Yay! The French generally date someone that they had previously met either through their friends or social circles, local events or through dating apps.
On a side note, I've heard some African American women saying that dating in France is easier than dating in the United States. As in, they face less discrimination when it comes to being seen as a potential romantic interest. I personally can't attest to that, but I will say that I've been (often uncomfortably) flirted with, which I don't equate to being treated like a valued human being lol. Like, just take my order and give me my falafel, dude.
If you are interested in dating in Paris and you aren't from here, it can be difficult to meet people naturally unless you really put yourself out there. A lot of people I know have met people through dating apps, and for the most part, the language barrier hasn't been too big of an issue.
