It sounds easy and exciting...until it doesn't. Here's what I've learned!
I consider myself an avid solo traveler. And I love it! But I didn't always feel that way...
My first time traveling was also the first time I traveled solo. Although I was traveling to study abroad, and would thus be consistently surrounded by other students, it was still a lot to get adjusted to. I didn't know anyone there, for starters -- it was like freshman year orientation all over again, and as a pretty shy gal myself, that was a nightmare!
But to take in new surroundings, unfiltered by the prejudices, personal tastes and preferences of a fellow traveling companion, allowed me to grow into myself. What do I like? What don't I like? At 19 years old, I was quiet, and while I was pretty independent, I was also a bit of a people-pleaser. I still am! But traveling alone for those six months offered me the opportunity to indulge myself fully, financially permitting.
Of course, there were many hiccups along the way -- safety concerns, loneliness, and the dreaded thought that you have only yourself to blame if something goes wrong. But that also means that your triumphs are all the more exciting. There’s no worrying that your insistence on trekking all the way across town to a museum that was closed ruined your partner’s day; it’s your own day to salvage or chalk up to a learning experience!
Besides, a little preparation and common sense can save you money and get you through the rough spots. Plus, even in solo travel, you're never truly alone!
PREPARING FOR A SOLO TRIP
Do your homework before you arrive. Solo travelers are more likely to be scammed, so ask the taxi driver for an estimated fare before you leave. Another easy fix is to opt for a rideshare, which will always have a fixed price (if the country doesn't have Uber, try TaxiNow). And be sure to research your destination -- we practice sustainable and respectful travel here, folks!
Choose the right accommodations. Book a hotel with a 24-hour front desk if you’ll be arriving late, so you don’t end up getting locked out! And don't shy away from hostels -- even if you don't want to share a room with strangers, single rooms in hostels are often cheaper than single rooms in a hotel.
Talk like a local. It's definitely worth making the effort to learn a few words and phrases before you go solo. Just knowing how to introduce yourself, start a basic conversation, order a drink and count from 1–10 makes all the difference. People love to know you're trying, however rusty you are. If travel opens the mind, learning the local lingo is a great way to open doors.
Bring good identification—and keep a copy in more than one place. Keep your passport, extra stores of money, and other important documents tucked away, and use a theft-resistant bag or purse for carrying daily spending money. But PLEASE, for the love of God don't wear your backpack in the front...don't embarrass yourself like that.
Plan to arrive during the day. Especially if you haven't been to the destination before. Walking down dimly lit cobble stone streets with a clanking suitcase is not the vibe. Arriving during the day also helps in getting your bearings of a new area before dark.
EXPLORING SOLO
Exude confidence. Whether you’re on a street at home or 7,000 miles away, walking confidently and with direction is an effective technique for deterring unwanted attention, since appearing lost or confused can make you vulnerable. If you are lost, you can always walk into a shop or restaurant and ask for directions there. Google Maps is also your friend.
Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss. Or as I like to say: lie, swindle and deceive! When asking for directions, never let on that you are alone: “Can you direct me to the museum? I have to meet a friend.” And no matter how friendly your taxi driver, hotel staff, or waiter seems, be wary of nosey questions about your plans for the day, who you're meeting up with, etc. Simple conversation is fine, but trust your gut.
Check your maps and transportation schedules before leaving your hotel/train etc. A solo traveler who’s too absorbed in their phone can be a mark for pickpockets. Plus, with your head in your phone, you won't get to look up and experience wherever your are!
Map out your day, but leave some wiggle room. I'm a planner. I love making itineraries (it's actually part of my job on this website), and mapping out exactly what I want to accomplish each day I travel. But for all of my love of structure, I'm not afraid to go with the flow. I like to get a general idea of what I'd like to do or see (like a few specific museums or a restaurant I really want to try) and then have the rest of the day to wander around. My first day of a trip, I usually dedicate to just that -- walking around. It helps me get my bearings, and I find places or things to do that I can mark down to come back to later!
Eat alone. This isn't high school. I promise Regina George isn't going to pop up from under your table and start pointing and laughing at you. I like to imagine myself as a mysterious foreigner nibbling on food as the locals gaze in wonder -- OMG who is she? But if lucid dreaming isn't your thing, some other ways to get comfortable with solo dining are to chat with the service people, bring reading material, or simply eating in (room service, anyone?).
Start your day early! I know, I know, but hear me out. If the idea of pub crawling and going to nightclubs alone doesn't sound appealing, be an early bird instead. There are plenty of opportunities to sightsee alone and be completely safe if you visit a large, bustling city. Getting up early also makes it easier to avoid the crowds at popular attractions once families and those night owls leave their hotel for the day.
WHEN THE LONELINESS KICKS IN
The constant sensory input and vigilance of traveling alone can wear you down. So if you feel your attention or your body tiring, don’t be afraid to back off your ambitious itinerary, slow the pace, and kick back for a bit.
Have a night in. There's no shame in spending half the day, or even a full day, relaxing in your hotel watching Netflix. You're watching Netflix in Spain, so you're fine.
Get social. If you're looking to talk to another actual human being and don't know where to start, seek out bars, restaurants or even libraries that speak your native tongue. You'll meet a ton of other travelers at these places, and they can be found all over the world -- think of European restaurants that advertise "American-style Brunch," for example.
Spark conversation. If you're looking for something that requires a little less effort on your part, there are tons of ways to organically meet new people! Offer to take someone's photo at a popular sight, or sit near a chatty group at a bar. I met SO many people this way! Like minded people will always seek one another out -- during my summer in Barcelona, I was minding my own business at a restaurant and another girl complimented my braids. We just started talking and she and her friend invited me to sit with them! We ended up keeping in touch and are even planning on meeting up again.
Revel in it. Even if you do get lonely, don't lose sight of all the things you can do when traveling alone. Some of those perks are tiny – whether that means double-dipping your chips in the guacamole or changing your mind about having a beach day and heading to a museum instead. But the real bonus of solo travel is much larger: pure freedom. You can take the exact trip you want, and even if you're not quite sure what that might be, you'll have a great time figuring it out.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED
I made a lot of mistakes when I first started solo traveling. My family doesn't have much experience with international travel, and neither did most of my friends, so I went into it pretty blindly!
Luckily, those mistakes were never so awful that I couldn't fix it, and I can even look back and laugh at (most of) them...
Like not taking the language barrier seriously when I studied in Paris -- there were a lot of mix ups when I'd try to order food. You may think you can navigate on your own, but think of all of the little interactions you have with people on a daily basis and consider whether you can go a week (or even a weekend) without having to talk to anyone!
Or when I went solely off of the cheap price of a London hotel instead of looking at ratings, and got dropped off by my Uber in a field of wheat. I walked two miles in the freezing cold to the nearest hostel and luckily got a room there.
Or when I overpacked for a weekend trip to Amsterdam, and had to walk from the train to my hotel in the pouring rain with a rolling suitcase.
Oh, or when I put too much pressure on myself to have a full itinerary every single day during my week in Santorini. After two days, I was exhausted, but once I stepped back and took my time, I found a lot of things to do that I wouldn't have thought of had I stuck to my itinerary.
And, most recently, when I failed to plan ahead and missed the last ferry from the island in Positano, Italy. I had to take a taxi back to the mainland, which would have cost me over 100 euros had a kind hotel manager not bartered with the driver for me (I ended up getting a deal for 40 euros).
But perhaps the biggest thing I've learned from my four years of solo travel is to dispel the thought that "solo" means I have to do everything alone.
This past summer in Barcelona, I traveled to over 8 different cities over the course of three months. I came home with new friends from all over the world!
Simply by being open and trusting my gut, I had SO many friendly interactions where we just really hit it off. Whether it was accidentally tripping over a girl's towel at the beach in Lloret Del Mar and getting invited to drinks that evening, being one of three Black girls at a restaurant and being invited to sit with them, or sharing a joke with another museum visitor about all of the naked Roman statues...at the very least, it made the effort of getting nice photos for the gram a lot easier!
Traveling alone gives me a sense of myself and my place in the world.
I’ve heard many people, Black women in particular, offer protestations about why we should not travel solo -- the terrible things that may happen to us, what we might lose by leaving our homes. And I get the hesitation; there are times when I’ve felt on edge or unwelcome on the road.
But for the most part, solo travel has given me far more than it has taken away, and it has always reminded me of my power in a world that so often serves to make me feel small and powerless.
Now, that might sound like a heavy load for one person to bear, and I’m not implying that the route to racial and gender equality rests on your decision to visit Venice for the week. Just think of it as another thing to motivate you to book a trip.
You might dread your next solo trip. Don't. It could really be one of the most enjoyable experiences you ever have! Sure, it's fun to make memories with your friends and family, but solo travelers have plenty of fun too. And it doesn't hurt that technology has made the world a lot smaller than ever before.
